LeBron's Lament (to be sung to the tune of O Fortuna)

O Cleveland, O-H-I-O,
I must spill my guts to you.
I have no peace,
It will not cease,
I was a complete jackass.
Went on TV,
Glorified me,
"Do you still chew your fingers?"
Then I did the unthinkable;
Took my talents to South Beach
To play with Chris Bosh and Dwyane Wade.
We called ourselves a dream team.
Yes there was smoke, and lasers too.
It looked just like pro wrestling!
Still did not win a stinkin' ring;
It was an epic failure!
Yet they loved us;
They worshiped us
Like we were kings of the world.
But Wade can't stay at all healthy,
And Chris Bosh looks like RuPaul.
To our dismay, Riley won't coach
So we're stuck with that doofus!
And now I'm stuck in quite a spot,
Turns out I do miss Cleveland.
Kyrie, Tristan and Varejao
Would be much better teammates!!!